This is the funniest thing I've read in awhile: The Babysitter's Club--Where are they now? The frisbee incident? Logan Brutal? It is so wrong. But feels so right.

what were you doing at second ave? why haven't you answered my e-mail yet??

Update, update! Homeless Piano Man is back! I had actually started to worry again. I saw him last night at the 2nd avenue station, and this morning at 14th street. Total donations during that 14-hour period: $1.30 in change.

Hrm, just checked my employee handbook, and neither the CLIUP fund, nor the LHTBWEWJCTVMNW fund are listed as eligible for corporate matching. What a bummer.

NC was a personal trip, Jess. I tried on 60+ dresses on Saturday in the quest for the "perfect beach bridesmaid dress." The one we picked at the end of the day, predictably, was in the first store we went into.

can you earmark part of the donations for the Let's have the best weekend ever when Jessi comes to visit me next week fund? the LhtbwewJctvmnw fund is extremely prestigious and may be almost tax deductible.

Masha! that's awful! I guess you, too, are taking part in a traveling business show. what was down in ole raliegh durham? I'm going to be down that way, though farther south, in a couple of weeks. texas did NOT eat me alive. but my trip to philly over the wknd for a 'girl's night out' almost did. Much drama. And I didn't even know these people.

I think Texas ate Jessi, as well. Jessi? Where are you?

Cathy, my condolences on the fly. Are you accepting donations in the name of any particular charity? I'd imagine flowers would just attract more flies, so you'd probably prefer not to get them.

In other news, this is what we saw out the right-hand side of the airplace thirty seconds after we landed at Raleigh-Durham Airport. One minute later, and we'd probably have been diverted to a different airport. Whew!

It's called contextual advertising. Pretty cool. And you'll never guess what the ad on Jessi's blog is - FREE COMMENTS!!

That is so cool that we have google ads on the WIND REPORT! What else would we like ads about? How about fly fishing? We've kind of already started that discussion, actually. We should start chatting about it some more and see if it comes!

Off to North Carolina.... See you Monday!

Articles like this make me regret leaving economics. That's such a cool analysis! I used to be able to do that!

Nope.

Jess, how's Texas? Also, I have a Friendster question. How come the last time I logged in I had 200,000+ friends, and now I only have ~25,000? Do I smell that badly?

Cat, what's the status on the fly? Your story reminded me of this one, that I read on the web a while ago.

Happy Monday!

We are family... AOL and Stubhub announce deal. Go Cat!

How was the wind this weekend? And Baltimore?

Ask Cathy.

In other news, have I shared the fact that I am going to ROME at the end of April?

Amy: Huh?

FYI, I just called my credit card company to ask that meth-addict checks no longer be delivered with my statement. Jess, you should too!

Yeah, I heard about that. Seven inches. Craziness. It's global warming, I tell you. And it is just WRONG.

Still snowing here, three days later....

Jess, your Maryland team almost gave me a heart attack yesterday. And yes, let us lament the passing of the Princeton basketball team from the tournament. See you next year!

CAT REPORT: I'd say give me a call and let me listen to you bitch about stuff, but I just got out of a mtg., have a to do list a mile long that has to be done tomorrow by 6 p.m. so I can go pick joelle up at the train station, and I'm hungry. And I have to go home to play with a three year old. In all fairness, I do want to play with the three-year old. All I can offer you, my kit kat, is a mental hug and the hope that your day does get better.

you too aims. what's going on with you today? sounds like you need to go back on the starbucks.

Jess, have I ever claimed to be a good speller or grammarian? Yeah, I didn't think so.

This blog is dull. Is there a wind report today or something?

Amy should definitely check out the link below.

exhibit A: "Of course, irregardless of whether something trendy stole your identity, it still sucks." amy wrote on this very blog.

ehibit B: "irregardless [should be] regardless '-Less' already says 'without' so there is no need to repeat the same sentiment with 'ir-.'"

You are welcome in advance for pointing out your embarrassing error, schmaims.

Look it up.

But if you don't want to, check out 100 most mispronounced words in English. My favorite is:
spitting image (should be) spit and image.

who knew?

drunkerest being a "joke": ever heard of revisionist history, cat?

I'm here, I'm here. Had to leave work early, so now I'm making up the hours by blogging. Or something. My new favorite word is "drunkerist." And my personal air mattress count is four (1 double, 2 twins), so I think we'll be fine.

There's something seriously wrong with the world when I can get the fixing for an expensive dinner from Citerella and some snacks for the week for $22, and two drinks from Starbucks for $7. That's almost 1/3 the cost of the FOOD. I really need to reexamine my Starbucks obsession.

Oh. Interesting newish mcswy's feature:

D I S P A T C H E S F R O M A
C R I S I S Z O N E B Y A N
"A N O N Y M O U S
M I L I T A R Y C O W A R D"

"If you're of the opinion that what I jot down is not funny, you're damn right. What's happening over here is deathly serious. If all you do is laugh at a piece, then you're missing the truly horrifying context that I intend between the lines: the fact that no matter what trappings you dress it in, what dry wit you apply to it, what hyperboles and understatements you mix it with, this war is happening—as you read these very words, it is happening. In the last hour, I can guarantee you that someone over here has died—likely an innocent civilian who only wished to live in peace with his or her family and friends. The entity or person by whose hands they died is not important, as no one can claim the first stone over here. There are no heroes in this war except the children of Iraq, who must go on living, and will."

Followed by:

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GENTLEMAN THAT ALMOST KILLED ME THE OTHER DAY

"As we prepared to begin an enjoyable lunch of beef with mushrooms on a wild rice pilaf, around a table of fellowship and ideas, you caused quite a fuss by detonating your improvised explosive device that was (apparently) hidden under an abandoned car across the street.

Simply put, sir: I am a bit perturbed that you attempted to kill me with your IED. I can assure you that this action was very distasteful from a social standpoint, if it was indeed your intention. If this was the case, then I am somewhat offended.

I should like you to understand that this is only my perception of events. Perhaps you did not intend for the shrapnel and general explosive power of a kilogram of Semtex to be taken as offensive. In fact, sir, I should like you to know that I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, if you will ensure me that the device was built for a reason other than to kill my associates and me. Bomb-building may be a personal hobby of yours, and I do not wish to foster ill will between my company and your people by attempting to deprive you of this hobby."

cat. I think I should win based on your seriously drunken spelling.

amy. where are you today?? more super hero distractions?

air mattress pre-claim: oh. no. you di-in't.

you realize that we are going to alternate the air mattress, catherine.

See, here's where I would say, "Well Cat, would you rather have snow? Because that's what we had yesterday! We're tired of winter!" Blah, blah, blah. But really, I would prefer snow to a heat wave, so I guess we do have it better.

I keep on obsessing over the reunions thing. We're #72 & 73. With 100 beds, they HAVE to give us a room, right? I just hope it's a double so that everyone can sleep on our floor. Or, if you guys have a higher number, we could get a quad!

Nice. The George W. Bush Action Figure. Who Speaks. Sort of. Who doesn't want to put food on his or her family? (via Tapped)

aims. it's a political fund-raiser. when compared to the 400-dollar-a-plate polifundraisers out there, it's a better deal. much more for your money than anti-biotic enlarged chicken cooked in an institutional manner.

Jess, are you aware that the event you're pimping is $50??!! I like my readings as well as the next one, but damn....

Also, since we're talking basketball, how about Go Tigers! 14 seeds have beaten 3s before, right?

Okay, freak show. As you know, I work in the department that is in charge of circulation for all the magazines. Friday we had the departmental "achievement awards." Now, I knew that they'd be fairly odd. Normal companies, you coerce everyone into a conference room, someone drones on for 45 minutes, and you leave. Not my company. My third day here, back in 2002, we had this award ceremony. I was a little alarmed to walk out of the elevator bank and be accosted by actors masquarading as papparazzi. So I was slightly prepared.

This year, though, takes the cake for bizarreness. This year, I walked out of the elevator, and was accosted by...superheros. A man in drag playing Lois Lane, Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, Catwoman, and some other people I didn't recognize. Thank God I was early and noone was in the room when I arrived, because I ended up being filmed as I answered questions about who my favorite superhero is. My image was projected on two big screens. What does all this have to do with magazine circulation? Hell if I know.

The awards themselves were pretty dry. The best part was the music that they chose to play for each group that won (14 awards in total). My poor boss got "Believe it or not, I'm floating on air, never thought I could be so free...." My favorite was the IT award, though. These poor men (mid-thirties to late forties, balding, generally of Eastern European descent) go marching up to the awards dias to the theme song from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." You know, "Things Just Keep Getting Better?" I almost choked, I was trying so hard not to laugh. Fairly certain none of them knew why I was choking, though.

After the awards the superheros continued to accost us, but at least they gave us ice cream.

And that, folks, is just one reason why I believe my office is a freak show. Someone had to PLAN and APPROVE and PAY FOR this thing!

I want to hear about the freak show. right. now.

Jessi - you will never get much feedback until you install - wait for it - COMMENTS!

I have much to discuss, including the freakshow that is my job and "my" homeless guy at the 14th Street F stop, but they will have to wait.

Oh. I've been an arts collectivenik since I started thinking about going to business school. I want to get arts off the gov't payroll. I want to do something, but haven't decided exactly what yet. Somewhere for artists to go to pool their resources and get help marketing and getting their message out. But if I go to b-school, I probably won't have enough money to do that. Any thoughts on the conundrum?

I will fight the power. I will also, however, point out that Cat and I are also very good at web surfing, so you should come to us if you have other fruit-related emergencies.

Pre-emptive strike: I swear to God Amy or Cat, if you send me a clip art picture of an apple I am going to scream. So don't do it. FIGHT THE POWER. I've moved on from my apple gathering failure.

I'm here, just working. I spent most of today looking for a clip art/stock photo of an apple that did not require me to become a member of anything and that did not cost $60.00. I found grapes, pears, cherries, strawberries, bananas--a lot of bananas, hello freudian complex, and even frickin avacados. Did I find a free apple? NO.

That's okay. I'm flexible, I just changed the concept to work with a clip art basket of bread I found on Monday. My job. Man am I glad I got that Princeton degree.

Um, where's Jessi?

Doesn't it make you feel warm and cozy, knowing that your identity is helping fund the nation's growing meth epidemic?

Okay, I'll stop now.

Check the time stamp on this message - I'm obviously punchy. And no, I don't currently have internet access at home. So I'm at.....

But - OH! - I ordered my shiny new laptop today! I could pull late night work sessions from my couch come April 5th! Just think, my computer is but a cog in Dell's just-in-time ordering process right now....

I have lots of concerns about the methodology (hah!) used to draw the link, but this is interesting: The connection between meth and identity theft. Cat, perhaps your mail was stolen by a meth ring!

Of course, irregardless of whether something trendy stole your identity, it still sucks.

Whee! It's the portion of the day where we comment on Jessi's blog! For today, I will simply copy an email thread that I was a part of Monday morning. Yes, folks, D and C are my coworkers here at large publishing company!

-----Original Message-----
From: D
Sent: Monday, March 08, 2004 7:29 AM
To: C, A
Subject: ok Alias Fans

I know you guys watched it, so here's my comment: regardless of what you thought of the story developments, or the increasingly excessive collagen in Vaughn's wife's lips, you had to have been a bit put off, as I was, by the blatant product placement of the Ford F-150 Truck. To hear Sydney yell in the middle of a chase "Vaughn! The F-150" sounded about as natural as someone yelling "Let me boot up the Dell Inspiron 600m!" -- but maybe that'll be next week.

-----Original Message-----
From: A
Sent: Monday, March 08, 2004 8:41 AM
To: D, C
Subject: RE: ok Alias Fans


I love Alias, but that was a terrible episode.

Regarding the product placement, yeah, it was pretty awful, but I'm inclined to ignore it since the show isn't that highly rated, costs a lot to make, and yet ABC is keeping it on the air. Anything that prevents cancellation! :)

Amy

-----Original Message-----
From: C
Sent: Monday, March 08, 2004 8:41 AM
To: D, A
Subject: RE: ok Alias Fans


I'm with Amy - in fact I was concerned that Vaughn would figure out Lauren was a bad guy last night because they might need to wrap up the show this year-ratings - against HBO and Law and Order - have not been great.

My other friends didn't like the episode either - I was just glad to see it again - last night was suppossedly only the 4th new episode since early December!

Next week doesn't look too promising either - unless you are a fan of The Office.

Because this more fun! Though, refer to the secret blog for commentary on my latest reading.

Wait, I missed something. When was your credit card stolen? Or you think it was stolen from online?

Poor Cat - go file that police report, quick!

In other news...who's going to a bar to watch the Princeton/ Penn game tonight?

Martha found guilty of all counts! Holy mother of Halle. What will your mama do now, hal?

lights tinkle?

glad you are home.

WIND UP MY DRESS REPORT I wore pants. sorry.

You promised us a WIND UP YOUR DRESS report. Now pay up!

In other news, I think one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen is the southern approach to LaGuardia airport, looking to the west, late at night. There are different kinds of beauty, of course - beautiful scenery, a beautiful piece of artwork, amazing music - but what I'm speaking of is urban beautiful. There's something so amazing about being close enough to Manhattan in the air that you can pick out your office building, see the individual windows in skyscrapers, and watch the lights of the city twinkle. It's like a child's lego set.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of flying into New York.

WIND UP MY DRESS REPORT will have to wait until I return from the post office.

Oh yeah. I was serious about those presents. I finally picked them up from the post office. Joelle agrees they are quite fab, tho the t-shirt is a wee tight. The little notebook is funny. I love david and goliath. I gave julie the pencils that say "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them." then I read on wonkette that there's some activist protesting those slogans b/c they make boys do badly in school. I thought boys did badly in school b/c they are really all little geniuses and the girls, who generally get better grades, only do so b/c they are well behaved rule junkies.

It's just good television, really.

confidence? what do you need confidence for?

What I find funny is that probably about the same time I was voting for Edwards he was announcing his exit from the race.

So, did you hear about President Bush's new campaign ads that show images of Ground Zero/ September 11th? In what world is this appropriate? And how can the Bush campaign be so dismissive of the victims' objections?

What's more frightening to me is that I'm sure they tested these ads with focus groups. Who are these people who liked these ads? Are they living near me?

Edited to add: Maybe he doesn't care about New Yorkers' reactions, since he doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell in winning the state? In that case, we'll just have to yell loud enough to get the rest of the country to notice. At least we won't have to watch the ads here.

CAT REPORT cat is light and vengeful, generally out of pettiness and boredom.

Thanks for the presents kit kat. They are, as always, totally rad!

High speed internet is dangerous at home. YOu end up doing really stupid things on friendster. like you and your roommate having a testimonial war to see which one can make the other one sound sl*ttier.

Woooo...still got that high speed internet...woo!

Okay, I think this might be dangerous, and is a prime example of why it's better I don't have internet at home.

Yup, I was referencing the stubhub article. It's one page, with a picture of the founders, and is pretty complimentary!

I just paid $9.95 for unlimited high speed internet access in my hotel room, and I feel compelled to surf the net all night in order to get my money's worth. Instead, though, I think I shall go to bed. Had a great dinner with my boss, but I feel myself slipping into a food coma.... Night........zzzzz.....

Never fear, Jess, I will be home late Wednesday night. And your party is THE social event of this Saturday evening, so of course I will attend! You're the only one who takes business trips over the weekend, by the way.

Greetings from cloudy Tampa!

Man, Aims. You're out of town this week. bummer. Can you still come to my party on Saturday night??

did I offend cathy with my dire prediction of wind updates? nah. cathy has MUCH thicker skin than that, doesn't she?

sigh. afternoon sleepiness is rough. the trail mix is helping though.

One more thing re: Jessi's blog, I agree that the Oscar's dresses featured an awful lot of feathers. And those that didn't were "Goddess dresses." Man, when Hollywood identifies a fad, they really run with it, don't they?

I, for one, would appreciate daily wind updates. Make me feel even better about living here. In other news, Cat, are you super-excited about the current issue of TIME magazine?

Jess, I would love to watch Gilmore Girls with you; however, I will be in Tampa, FL. Unless you'd like to join me? Going down to train some customer service reps - should be painful.

This past weekend featured a roadtrip to Lowville, NY. Believe it or not, it was a much better trip than it sounds. Got to see the family, watch my cousin vault over poles, and Arnold got to snowmobile twice. What more could one want?

I voted today! And no one gave me a sticker, darn it!

Lucky? I was born lucky, baby.

Where is Amy today? I'm back in town Masha. Do you want to watch Gilmore Girls tomorrow? I think Rory becomes a sl*t in this one. Or a homewrecker. Dean actually PUTS HIS ARMS AROUND HER. I guess that makes him the cheating ho b/c he's the married one. Things are getting racy up in stars hollow.

In other news. I have to both do laundry and pluck my eyebrows today. Both will hurt. Once I have accomplished both, my appearance will be mildy improved. I think I'll put both off until Wednesday.

oh no. does this mean we are going to get daily wind updates from you cat?